Shattered
by AnnaFIRTH
Summary: Entry for the 2013 Castle Ficathon. Alternative ending to Whatershed. He won't try to stop her. He won't give her an ultimatum either; instead he will wait for her reaction. For Kate to come back to him, or disappear to DC without saying a thing.
1. Chapter 1

_**(READ THIS PLEASE, IT'S IMPORTANT)**_

_**Hello there! So I've decided to participate in the Castle Ficathon! I don't know if I will make it to 50k words but I will try.**_

_**Everyone seems to be doing a post-watershed fic so I decided to do a different story. Some of you asked me to continue my Pre-Watershed One-Shot called Decisions, so here it is.**_

_**This multi chapter story is gonna follow that one shot. I SUGGEST YOU READ DECISIONS FIRST. Would make this story clearer and easier to follow. Here's the link **__** s/9271967/1/Decisions**__** .**_

_**IMPORTANT. THIS IS AN ALTERNATIVE ENDING TO WATERSHED. CASTLE HASN'T PROPOSED, yet ;) **_

_**IT'S GOING TO HAVE A BIT OF ANGST, BUT YOU GUYS KNOW ME. I LOVE HAPPY ENDINGS ;)**_

* * *

*end of Decisions*

_"Someone once told me, 'when you love someone, let them go,' I think now it's a good time to take the advice."_

_"You really don't mean that, do you?" Kate asks trying to grab his hand but he immediately pulls away._

_"I do. Hope you make the right decision Kate. I love you." And with these last words Rick Castle disappears through the door leaving a confused Kate standing in the middle of the living room._

* * *

_What just happened?_

Kate walks to the door that has just been shut by Rick Castle and leans her forehead against the cold wood. She tries so hard to contain herself from opening the door and storm out to get him just in time, before he walks out her building and beg him to stay and apologize for keeping secrets.

_Secrets._

She remembers how secrets broke them apart last year, and how they fought to overcome them and finally had the chance to be together.

_As a couple. _Because that's what Castle says they are. A solid couple that's moving forward-, but right now she doesn't know what they are anymore.

'_Hope you make the right decision Kate. I love you.' _What does that even mean? Where does Castle statement leave them?

She lets her head carefully smash on the door and finally breaks down. She turns her body in anger and lets herself fall on the floor, she brings her knees to her chest and hugs them tight. Kate doesn't know how many minutes or hours she spends sobbing against her front door but right now it's everything she needs.

No. She needs Castle, but she can have him now, because he is mad at her and she can't blame him.

_She shouldn't have kept secrets. _

But she did, because she's still afraid to talk to Castle about some things and even more when it comes to their relationship.

* * *

Twenty blocks away from Kate, Rick Castle opens the door of the loft and steps inside. Everything is dark and quiet. Too much silence since Alexis isn't home and his mother is probably out or already sleeping.

He zombie-walks to his office and too tired to enter his bedroom and images of Kate and him flash before his eyes, he makes the wise yet absurd decision to let his body fall on the couch.

He can't sleep; no mater how many positions her tries he isn't comfy either. He tries the stupid 'Count Ships' tactic but doesn't work. Images of Kate keep on coming to his head.

He feels betrayed, angry; like he has just been hit by a truck and he can't help but cry. The tears that he had been holding when confronting Kate and during he cab ride back home, come out and he doesn't move a finger to stop them.

He has had fights, that ended badly, with women before; Meredith left so did Gina and he let Kyra go because out of every woman before Kate he was the one he truly loved. It'd hurt to watch her take a plane to London with no return ticket. But fighting with Kate? His heart hadn't been ready for it.

A week before they had agreed to no more secrets, that it was time to open up, and he was trying really hard to let Kate in, but he was getting there; and so he thought she was until tonight.

_'What are we really?' _Kate's words echo inside his head and he feels another tear run down his shaved cheek. He knew they had to talk about their future but he also thought she knew that they were serious and moving forward.

All her moves and smiles proved she knew but why change her mind all of a sudden? What had changed in the past forty-eight hours to make her feel so insecure and scared about their future?

He won't try to stop her. He won't give her an ultimatum either; instead he will wait for her reaction; for Kate to come back to him, or disappear to DC without saying a thing. He made himself clear before leaving her apartment, 'Hope you make the right decision Kate. I love you.'

With those last thoughts, sleep wins over his desire to stay awake and his eyes slowly close leaving him half-hanging off the couch in his office.

* * *

Two hours later a smiley Martha Rodgers enters the loft. She had a late night with her acting students, but she couldn't be happier of their hard work on the new play. She takes her shoes off and leaves them on the first stair; she walks to the kitchen and prepares herself a martini.

_Too quiet for a Thursday evening. _

Martha walks to her son's office to find him fast asleep on the couch.

'Oh no. Something's wrong. Richard only sleeps in the couch when he has a falling out with Kate,' the actress says to herself and debates whether to wake him up or not. After getting a blanket and carefully covering her son with it she decides to let him sleep and talk about whatever happened in the morning.

* * *

_**Should I continue? Let me know :)**_

_**Thanks for reading. **_


	2. Chapter 2

**_Thank you so much for all the reviews, I'm glad you all liked it. Also huge thanks to the favourites and follows, you guys are the best._**

**_One more thing, I'm going to try to update once or twice a week; but I'm a college student and summer is around the corner; that means finals. I don't have a lot to study but I do want high marks, so I previously apologize if I don't get to update weekly :)_**

* * *

_'Oh no. Something's wrong. Richard only sleeps in the couch when he has a falling out with Kate,' the actress says to herself and debates whether to wake him up or not. After getting a blanket and carefully covering her son with it she decides to let him sleep and talk about whatever happened in the morning._

* * *

Rick feels the sunlight hit his face and that shocks him, because he has binds in his bedroom and he always makes sure to close them down before heading to bed. He rolls on his back and has to grab what he believes is a leather pillow to keep from falling on the ground.

Couch. Oh yes, he fell asleep on the couch last night. Alone; because he had a falling out with Kate.

After two minutes to set up his mind and recall everything that had happened in the previous twelve hours he jumps off the couch and enters his bathroom, not even looking at his bed or dresser. Because everything from his room screams _Kate, _and he doesn't want to think about her now.

After spending way too much time under the steamy water of his shower, he puts comfy clothes on. He feels new, better. Or at least he likes to believe so.

He spots a letter from her mother on the counter saying she won't be back until tonight or tomorrow morning. Great, he is alone in the huge loft.

He tries to write, even contact Patel for a game at X-box but he can't reach him, _probably midnight in India, _Rick says to himself.

Around 1pm he has lunch and ends falling asleep on the couch, only to be woken up by heavy knocks on the door.

* * *

He groans and finally stands up and walks to the door. He doesn't even ask for whoever is at the other side, but when the door swings open he can't find his voice.

_Kate._

"Hey," He doesn't want to smile right away, because he's still mad at her but the corners of his mouth can't help but twitch up.

"Castle, can I come in?" The detective asks playing with her hands.

Rick takes a few seconds to think about it and finally gives in. He steps aside and Kate, shyly, walks inside. It feels odd to see her so out of place and nervous when three days ago she was happily running around and feeling like home.

"You're here." Castle begins, walking closer to her, "That means you've made a decisi-." Kate's lips covering hers cut him of and he doesn't know how to react. His head _screams stop and talk things_, but his bodymelts under Kate's touch. Her lips are so very perfect and so kissable that make him go weak at the knees. His hands roam through all her body until he reaches for her tights and pulls her up against him. Kate circles her legs around his waist and in between kisses he leads them to his bedroom. On the way, Kate manages to pull off his t-shirt and when Rick closes his bedroom and lets Kate down on her feet, he reaches for his messy bun and lets her hair fall on her shoulders and over her face.

Beautiful.

Kate looks up at him in confusion, "I love your hair down." These are the last words they say before falling onto the bed.

_Their bed. Or-._

* * *

Footsteps wake him up. He slightly opens his right eyes, afraid for lighting to strike him but that doesn't happen, it's dark outside. He sits on his bed and looks around, Kate's not by his side.

Rick Castle jumps off the bed and slips his pyjama pants and shirt on. Kate's clothes aren't on the ground, neither on the chair where she usually left them after a tiring day at work.

"Castle…" Kate's voice startles him. He turns around to find her fully clothed and carrying some of her clothes inside of a bag.

"What are you doing up? It's 2am Kate."

"I have to go…" She whispers.

"Go where?" Castle asks sitting on the edge of his bed. Kate lowers her head, unable to look at him, and with this little gesture she tells him everything he needs to know.

"So I guess you've made a decision…"

"I have," Kate nods, still not able to look him in the eyes.

"So you thought 'Oh cool let's go see Castle, have fun for a while and then leave without telling him a thing', are you out of your mind?" Rick yells. He doesn't want to, but realizing that Kate was about to leave without waking him hurts.

_Hurts badly._

"I… no, that's not what-,"

"Don't lie to me, Kate. Here you are again, keeping secrets."

Kate stays silent. He is right; so damn right and she feels like a _bitch_ right now. He doesn't deserve this.

"Castle, I need time."

"Time?" Castle jumps out of bed, "Time for what?"

"To figure things out." Kate clarifies, "This job is important for me Castle."

"I thought I was important for you too." Castle states. He hates when people don't look at him while talking, "Kate, look at me."

"Castle this job is what I want, it's a great opportunity to do more. Being a detective has been my life for the past decade and now I've been given this offer and I don't want to turn it down."

"But you do want to turn _me_ down."

"No." Kate states firmly, "I also want to be with you."

"Last night you said you didn't know where we were going and now you say you want to be with me? Enlighten me Kate because I don't know what you mean."

"You said that when you loved someone you have to let them go, but you don't have to do that. You could come with me."

_Oh._

"I can't. Alexis and my whole life are here. I just can't move to DC, Kate."

"Alexis is in college Rick, she doesn't live here anymore. You have to let her go." Kate yells. She hadn't meant to say those words, but they just slipped out of her mouth.

Damn.

"I asked her to stay in Columbia to have her close, how do you think she's going to react when I tell her I'm leaving? She's not going to be happy. But Alexis isn't the point Kate, I don't want another city, I'm good with this one. I have friends and most important, you." He lowers his voice and reaches to cup her cheek, "Don't leave me." She hears him whisper.

"Castle, I'm not leaving you. I'm just asking for time."

"Do you love me?"

"What?"

"_Do you love me?" _He asks again marking every word.

"Why do you even ask that?" Kate panics.

"Answer the question Kate. Do you love me, or you just said it that day standing on the bomb because you thought you were going to die?"

"I-, I do."

"Do what?" Rick pushes her to talk again.

Kate takes a deep breath, "I love you. I meant it when I was standing on that bomb and I repeat it now. _I love you, Castle. _So much it scares me." There she has said it, looking straight to his blue eyes that are now turning to grey as tears take over them.

"Thanks." His reply is short but meaningful; he needed to hear her say the words, he needed to hear them from a very-much-alive Kate. He weakly smiles at her and reaches for her hand to give it a gently squeeze.

"I still need time to think about everything Castle. This is the longest relationship I've even been in and I guess I hadn't reached the 'where are we going' part either. But you know me, and my distances." Castle nods and lets her continue, "I'm flying to DC tomorrow and starting the job the following day. I want you to go to that US tour Paula planned, take sometime off the city and spend the month surrounded by your fans."

"Okay…" Castle says as much as his disagreement, "Do I get to call you every night?"

"You get to call me, but not every night."

"Distance, time. Right, got it." He semi-smile at her and then, both turn around to walk to the door.

Castle opens the door for her and when they are face to face they run out of words; Castle leans in and when his lips are about to touch Kate's she turns her head and Castle's soft lips end up crashing against her cheek.

_Distance._

"Talk soon Castle." Kate says turning around to walk to the elevator.

Castle remains silence, he doesn't want to say goodbye. _He isn't ready to say goodbye._

The writer watches her muse walk away from him and before it is too late he runs to the elevators and manages to stop the door from closing.

"Don't find someone better than me out there." He is serious about the statement. This is Rick Castle talking, not the jealous nine-year-old on a sugar rush.

"There is no one better than _you_." Kate says, as the door swings close.

* * *

_**Thoughts? **_

_**Okay here it goes. I'm gonna go hide over there, now. Hope you liked it. **_

_**Stay tuned, there's more to come. **_


	3. Chapter 3

_"Don't find someone better than me out there." He is serious about the statement. This is Rick Castle talking, not the jealous nine-year-old on a sugar rush._

_"There is no one better than __you__." Kate says, as the door swings close._

* * *

It'd been a week since their goodbye in Castle's loft. Kate had started the new job four days ago and she was content. She missed being in control and being able to do what she wanted with the case. But the FBI meant discipline and rectitude. It meant no more jeans or leather jackets at work, the contrary, Kate found herself dressed in elegant and uncomfortable clothes, that just weren't her. Like now being called Agent Beckett. It sounded odd and rhyme-less. She had to learn to live without it, at least during the month trial.

The people she worked with were nice but also very serious; she was used to joke around with Espo and Ryan but also tease Castle. Being able to have a good time while working on a case was something the FBI agents didn't do. Everything was calculated and quiet.

She hadn't talked with Castle in the past week and as much as she tried to not care about it she missed him. She had shot him a text when she landed in DC and a 'good morning' text the following day, which he responded with 'have a nice day'. She had read on the paper that he was in San Francisco promoting the Nikki Heat novels, so she assumed he was busy.

* * *

At the other side of the country, Castle had been travelling around California for the past week. He had forgotten how much fun it was to meet his fans and talk with them. He was even asked to do a conference in UCLA, which he immediately agreed to. He had talked about his work with the police and his Nikki Heat books. No one had asked anything related to Kate – Detective Beckett - and he'd been thankful for that because this was what this tour was supposed to be; to forget about Kate for a while and try to have fun doing his actual job; he'd also visited the Nikki Heat movie production. The movie was due to come out by January 2014 and the producers had told him of the possibility for a second movie, and maybe a saga.

He was happy because his work was starting to get valued again, the media had started to talk about him again and even his picture appeared on the Monday newspaper. He had forgotten how much fun it was to be a celebrity. That's one thing that Kate disliked and he couldn't blame her, but her insecurity in front of the media and always wanting to hide their relationship, made her look insecure or ashamed about them.

_Kate. _Her name echoes inside his head as he feels the wheels of the plane hit the ground. _He misses her_. He desperately wants to call her and hear her voice but he decides to make her suffer. He also needs distance to think things through. He has analysed their last encounter and fight coming to reality that she had used him. She was going to leave without saying a thing? What kind of girlfriend was she? Was she worth the wait, or was she just playing with him?

Actually, that what she'd been doing for the past month. It all started with Eric – Mr Fantastic – Vaughn. They were doing extremelly well until Kate spent two days with him. He probably had asked her lots of questions and that's when she realized they had to talk about where they were going. Then the job offer came a long and she decided not to tell him. _Why not? _Did she not trust him? Why wouldn't she? He had stayed with her when the bomb, he had opened up to her and yet she decided to build her walls up, again, and not let him in her life.

"Mr Castle, we're here." He hears the young flight attendant tell him and he is forced to come back to earth.

"Yeah, okay." Rick responds smiling up at her.

'Welcome to Texas' a voice says through the speakers as he takes his bag from under the seat.

Right, Texas. Fourth stop of his book tour.

* * *

Two days later, Kate's having dinner when her doorbell rings. She's not expecting anyone, and the only person that knows where she lives is Castle.

_Oh no, it better not be him,_ Kate says to herself. She walks to the door to find no other than her best friend, "Lanie!" Kate pulls the M.E for a hug.

"Hey Kate!" Lanie says walking inside her apartment. Kate has boxes everywhere; she just isn't ready to unpack everything. She doesn't think she will ever be, actually. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay, Lanie. You?"

"Fine," Lanie says looking around, "I see you haven't unpacked yet."

"I don't know if I will. After all I'm still not sure if I will stay here. They gave me a month trial."

"Oh, that's good. You like it here?"

"Yes I do." Kate lies. Sure she likes it but it's not what she'd imagined.

"I can tell when you're lying Kate, you know that. So tell me, what's going on?"

"Nothing," Kate turns her head to hide her face from her best friend, "Everything is fine." Kate huffs reaching the bottle of wine to pour some more in her glass.

"Kate… You can talk to me. Is it about Castle?" Lanie asks, softly, trying not to overstep. Kate nods and Lanie decides to continue talking, "How did you two end up?"

"He uhm, was so mad at me for keeping the job offer a secret and I don't blame him but,"

"But what?"

Kate takes a deep breath and finally looks up to Lanie, "But it's my life. This is who I am. I never wanted to be a detective, I did it for my mother, and thanks to that I found the son of a bitch who killed her. I know he's still out there, but this is what new job is about. To be able to do more, and I know there will be a day when I will put Bracken to jail forever."

"I understand that Kate, but what about Castle?"

"We've taken sometime… To figure things out."

Lanie lets out a laugh and Kate throws her a death glare, "Really Kate, time for what?"

"Figure things out." She repeats.

"I don't understand Kate. You're in a successful relationship with a man that loves you more than possible and you ask him for time?" Lanie snaps, "I saw him the day after you left and he looked broken, betrayed and sad, most of all sad."

"If he really loves me why isn't he here? Why doesn't he accept to move in with me and continue our lives in DC, huh?" Kate exclaims, rather loudly.

"You told him to go on tour."

Kate opens her mouth to speak but closes it again. Yeah, she remembers telling him that. "I know, but he won't leave New York for me."

"He would do anything for you Kate." Lanie states and Kate shocks her head in disagreement.

"He told me he wouldn't, that his life is in NY and bla bla bla…"

"Do you have to remind you that he stayed with you when you stepped on the bomb? If that isn't the biggest declaration of love I don't know what is it."

Right.

'_I don't know too many men you'd have done what you did.'_

'_Neither do I.' _

And she knows. Castle stayed with her until the last possible second, even when she told him to go, not just once but at least four times. He risked his life for her, _Lanie is right, _Kate says to herself.

* * *

**T_houghts?_**

**_I know some of you guys aren't happy with the way I wrote Kate in the last chapter but that has really been her behaviour in the last three episodes._**

**_Important things:_**

**_1. is an alternative ending that follows their fight at Kate's place. Therefore Kate hasn't spoken to her dad and Castle hasn't proposed. Just make sure you have that in mind._**

**_2. It's gonna be angst for a while but will change in 4 or 5 chapters._**

**_3. English isn't my mother tongue, so I apologize for any mistake. If you have any suggestion let me know :)_**

**_Hope you still like it :) Thanks for reading, following and reviewing you guys are the best!_**

**_I also would like to share the European Fans page on facebook: Castle Europe. Make sure to like it and learn more about our project. /CastleEurope_**


	4. Chapter 4

_"Do you have to remind you that he stayed with you when you stepped on the bomb? If that isn't the biggest declaration of love I don't know what is it."_

_Right._

_'__I don't know too many men you'd have done what you did.'_

_'__Neither do I.'_

_And she knows. Castle stayed with her until the last possible second, even when she told him to go, not just once but at least four times. He risked his life for her,__Lanie is right, __Kate says to herself._

* * *

Kate spends her day off walking around DC with Lanie. They walk up and down the most famous streets of the city doing some shopping and Kate getting to know more about the beautiful city that has to learn to call home, from now on. She makes dinner for two and late that night she drives Lanie to the airport so she could be early at work the next morning.

After the talk about Castle the first night, Lanie decided to avoid saying his name; but in the other side Kate found herself thinking about him –them- constantly.

* * *

She's now sitting at her desk tying on the computer when her phone screen lights up with a new text.

Castle.

_Hope you have a nice day Kate. I'm in Texas and back home tonight for two days before heading to Canada. How are you? _

He's never late. His _Good morning_ message hits Kate's phone at 9.15am every morning, and she can't help but smile at his punctuality and perseverance. It's actually one of the things that make him who he is, and also one of the many reasons Kate admires him.

_Hope you have a nice day too. You deserve some time off. I'm at work. Ttyl. _

She types back and places her phone back to where it was before.

The day goes by like any other. There's no big case, just paperwork; tons of it. By 7pm Kate manages to get out and heads back home for a relaxing bath and a good glass of wine.

* * *

Castle enters the loft at 6am in the morning with one only mission. _Sleep. _He had planned to crush on the four-hour flight but the one-year-old kid sitting behind him made it impossible.

It's 11am when his phone starts to buzz and Rick Castle is forced to open an eye and reach for the phone, placed on the nightstand.

"Hello," He says to whoever is at the other side of the line.

"Rick!" Gina's voice echoes inside his head and he has to pull the phone away from his ear.

"Gina, don't talk so loud. Head hurts." Rick groans stretching on the mattress, "What can I do for you?"

"I have prepared a book signing at the 5th Avenue Barnes and Noble in two hours. See you there." Gina hangs up before he is able to say _'no'._ Damn this woman, he knows him too well.

Rick manages to get out of bed ten minutes later and walks directly to the shower. A while after he emerges from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist; he stands in his dresses longer than usual. He finally decides to wear something comfy and not so classy, like he is used to dress up when he went to the Precinct or other important events. He slips into a dark green jean and a grey and orange plaid button-down that he has never wornbefore; he puts his new Le Coq shoes on and before leaving he grams his leather jacket.

He takes a taxi to the famous book shop in the 5th avenue and before meeting Gina he decides to enter the nearest Starbucks coffee to get something to eat.

"I'd like tw- one Grande skim latte two pumps sugar free vanilla and a bear claw, please."

"Name please?" The younger boy with the green apron asks him.

"Richard." The writer responds. It's always Rick and Kate when he orders coffee every morning before heading to the Precinct; but he is not ready, and will never be, to ask coffee for one using his short name.

No. Brings back too many memories.

_Rick, I love you._

He still doesn't know what to think about her declaration of love. He should believe her right away, because that's what a boyfriend does, trust his girlfriend, but his conscience keeps telling him that Kate's gone, not forever but for at least a month. A month to take her time and think about everything; a month to be away from him.

But to be honest, he can't take it anymore. He needs her like the air that he breathes. Most people would call him girly but he just misses her, at this time he doesn't care that she lied to him or that she decided to try out the month trial and left him heartbroken and alone.

He has tried to not think about her, but every night he would fall sleep thinking about her; reaching for her side of the bed and dreaming to find it occupied, but it never was.

_Ying needs yang._

* * *

He checks the times for the fifth time as he reaches for another one of his books; he looks up to find a woman looking at him saying the typical '_you are my favourite author' _phrase. He smiles at her, signs the book and hands it back with a '_thank you for coming'. _

About half an hour later he feels his hand start to cramp and asks Gina to take a break. "Just five more minutes, Rick. I'm gonna get you a coffee." Okay, he can do five more minutes.

Rick is about to say next when a book, opened at the blank page before the dedication, appears in front of his eyes. He looks at it and reads the words written down, "_Happy Birthday Kate. It's a shame you couldn't make it to the book signing due to an exam. Hope you aced it. Have a good one. - Richard Castle. _

Confusion. That's what he feels until he looks up to fins Jim Beckett smiling at him.

"Jim!" The author's face lights up. Thank God a familiar face; "I have a break just now. Want to grab a coffee?"

"Eh, yeah okay. I need to talk to you."

_Oh! _

Just then Gina appears with a steamy cup of coffee. She looks up to find Rick with greyly hair, "Gina I'm gonna go have a coffee with Jim. Be back in fifteen minutes, okay?"

The publisher nods, "Fifteen minutes Rick. No more."

They walk to the nearest coffee shop and enter the place. As much as Rick's disapproval Jim pays for the two coffees while he waits sitting on the booth by the window.

"So..." Jim starts and Castle tenses, "how are you, Rick?" The middle-aged man asks.

"If I'm honest I'm tired but happy to see a familiar face." Castle responds avoiding mentioning Kate.

"You look exhausted, that's true."

"I came back from Texas this morning and only got four hours of sleep," the writer explains taking another sip of his cappuccino.

They stay in silence for what if feels like hours. Jim merely studies Rick, his movements and face expressions while Rick prays Jim doesn't take 'the Kate subject' out.

"Rick?" Kate's father waits for him to tear his eyes way from the cup of coffee in his hands, "How are things between you and Katie?"

Castle takes a deep breath trying to find a good answer. "I don't know." He replies.

"I drove her to the airport the other day and she wouldn't tell me anything about you or your relationship."

"She asked for time," Rick finally finds the words, "I first thought I could cope withher being so far away but I can't..."

"I understand what you're going through, you know?" Jim explains and when he looks up to Rick, he decides to continue, "Johanna and I met at work. At first she didn't even notice me, she wouldn't even say good morning when she walked pass my desk, but then we were put together in a case and we got to know each other. I watched her date guys that didn't deserve her; I was there when she cried and when she laughed. During that case I sort of became close friends," Jim holds back the tears as he talks about his, at the time friend. Castle listens and watches him with so much admiration and respect. The writer smiles up at him and Jim continues, "I didn't had the courage to ask her out until three years later."

"Sounds like someone I know." Castle lets out a sarcastic laugh.

Jim beams at him, "We had such an amazing year. Everything was new, easy and sweet-, until Johanna was sent to San Francisco." Jim takes a deep breath and watches the writer try so hard not to think about the similar events occurred in his life just weeks ago.

"What did you do?" Rick can't help but ask.

"At first I was broken, it felt like the end of the world to me, but she was just so excited. So I let her go. I watched her wave goodbye from the other side of the police control at the airport and that's the last time I saw her in three months."

"What after that?" Castle asks eager to know more.

"The first month was hell, I almost broke things off. My friends kept on saying that it was stupid to wait for someone for a year, but it was the first time I felt something so strong for a woman and I thought it was worth waiting. So we made it. I waited, she waited and when she came back everything was better than it was before she left."

Castle breathes in and tries to get his mind together after hearing Jim and Johanna's story. He has to do the same. He has to wait, and he is willing to do so. He'll do anything for the woman he loves, because like the wise man sitting in front of him said, '_It was the first time I felt something so strong for a woman,_' and that's the exact same way he feels about Kate.

"She looks at you the same way Johanna used to look at me. At first you think it's an insecure look, but once you get to investigate it, it's full love and respect."

"I'm willing to wait for Kate, and I think this opportunity is be great for her and her career. So if I have to move to DC I will, because I love her."

"I know you do, Richard." Jim says nodding at the nervous writer sitting in front of him.

* * *

The book signing ends around 3pm. After saying thank you to everyone at the bookstore and his formal co-workers Castle heads out the store only to spot Gina waiting for him outside.

"Hey Gina, thanks for organizing this today. It went perfectly well as always." Rick says putting his leather jacket on. Things between her and Gina didn't end too well, but they are great business partners.

"Thanks for not cancelling." The blonde winks at him letting out a shy laugh.

"You didn't even let me say no." Castle comments.

"Listen Rick, why don't we grab lunch somewhere?"

Castle shakes his head. It's not that he doesn't want to have lunch with her, the contrary he would love to, but he is just too tired.

"It's important, Rick. With the Nikki Heat saga coming to an end you have to find something else to write about."

"Why does it have to end?" Rick asks.

"It will have to, soon. Readers get tired of long sagas and you got an amazing offer." Gina says and smiles when Rick's eyes widen.

"What offer?" Castle asks, suddenly feeling excited and nervous at the same time.

Gina looks at him, debating to tell him right away or make him suffer a bit, "First lunch. Come on."

* * *

_**Thoughts?**_

_**So, I decided to add Johanna and Jim's story because I just love them. I invented it, and I hope you guys liked it :)**_

_**Now I'm gonna go hide under my bed for a while. Lol **_

_**Thank you for all the reviews, follows and favourites, you guys never fail to amaze me with all your support and kind words. Really thanks :) **_

_**- Anna.**_


	5. Chapter 5

**_Thank you all for your wonderful reviews. They make me smile! I'm gonna try reply to each one of you now. :)_**

* * *

Gina walks Rick to a nice Italian restaurant not far away from the Barnes and Noble bookshop. They order and while waiting for their meal to come Rick starts making questions.

"Richard, stop babbling and let me explain." Gina suddenly says and Rick leans back to his chair to let his publisher talk. "So as I said before the Nikki Heat saga has to come to an end; if you're not content with the ending of Deadly Heat I'm sure Black Pawn will let you write another book, but that would be the last."

"I'm okay with the ending. Now what's the offe-," Rick decides to stop talking when Gina shoots him a dead glare.

"This new saga would be perfect for your career Rick, and I'm sure you are going to say yes the moment I give you the news but promise you will think about it okay?" Gina says and Rick makes an 'I'm not following face', "What I mean is that you're not getting any younger and you always wanted to have a family, more kids and stuff."

"Kate…" Rick sighs and Gina beams at him in response, "Right now it's complicated." Rick lowers his head and joins his hands to control the nerves.

Gina desperately wants to ask what's going on but when she sees Rick's reaction she decides to not push and maintain their conversation strictly professional.

"So the offer," Gina starts as Rick lifts his head back up, "Is about a certain double-zero agent." The blonde grins at the writer, whose eyes immediately light up.

"Really?" Rick wants to make sure he isn't dreaming.

"Yes! Remember they asked for you like three years ago?" Rick nods, "They decided to wait until you were free."

Rick inhales and takes a few seconds to think about it. It sure is one of the greatest opportunities of his career and it will also mean getting to write about the spy that made him want to become a writer.

_Dad. Casino Royale._ It will also make him feel closer to his father. Because, partly, thanks to him he is Rick Castle, the best selling author. But then the little voice inside his _goddam _head screams Kate, over and over again.

Now he has this amazing offer and he does not want to decline. Gina is right, what comes after Nikki Heat? Surely he could live for the rest of his life, because money has never been an issue for Rick Castle, but at times he loves doing his real work. Sitting down in front of a blank word document and start creating is his thing and he's not willing to give up on it.

"Yes!" Rick exclaims running a hand through his hair.

"Don't you need more time?"

"No, Gina. I want to write about James Bond, it has always been my dream and you're right Nikki Heat has to come to an end, sooner or later, but it has." Rick explains as the waiter comes with their pasta.

* * *

Rick wakes up to someone tapping his shoulder.

"Sir, could you please put your seat back to the upright position? We are about to land." Castle hears a male voice and rubbing his eyes he nods and puts his first class seat back on the right position. He takes a minute to come back to earth and finally remembers where he is.

Right.

Plane.

He pushes the small blind up and the Big Ben appears before his eyes.

_London._

His tour through Canada had been postponed a week due his need to go to London to sign the contract for the new James Bond books.

After the chat with Gina he had gone straight home to pack for two days and then to the airport to catch a direct plane to Heathrow. During the first hour of the flight Rick kept on debating whether to tell Kate he was going overseas for two days, or not. He finally decided to keep it to himself for a while. He knew it was selfish, but he didn't want to tell her Nikki Heat was over just yet. He would tell her when the time came.

Right now his career was his top priority.

After booking in the hotel and taking his Samsonite to the room Rick has lunch at the hotel bar and spends the afternoon walking, under the radar, around the British capital.

**Looks like you're busy. Good Morning.**

Kate's text lights up his phone's screen the moment he sits down on a comfy armchair at one of the many Costa coffee shops in the city.

Dammit. Time change.

He does the math and realizes its 10am in DC, meaning he is terribly late at his always-on-time morning text.

**Sorry Kate. I am busy signing books. Good morning!**

He types back and sighs. He hates lying to her.

Rick shakes hands with the well-dressed man in front of him and say thank you before despairing through the door with his new contract in hands. He is sure he has a stupid nine year-old grin on his face but right now he doesn't care because from today on he gets to write about his favourite double zero spy.

_Best day ever. _

That same afternoon when he gets to the airport, Castle doesn't feel right. He hadn't stopped thinking about the reply message to Kate. He had lied and that's something that didn't do well to him. After all he was doing the same Kate had done to him and for what he had been mad at her.

He needed to talk to her, now. He does the math and realizes it's still too early to call her, or maybe not to early but he knows she isn't allowed to talk on the phone while at work.

Damn the FBI and their strict policy.

He needs to do something and fast. He doesn't want Kate to find out about his flying visit to London through the paper or anyone else; no, he wants to tell her in person. Tell her everything Gina had told him during their lunch, and his new contract for a brand new saga.

Without thinking it twice Rick Castle walks to the British Airways stand and after a long negotiation he manages to change his ticket, to DC; bad news is he will have to wait four extra hours.

He kills time walking around the shops; he gets a good bottle of his favourite Scottish scotch and gets Kate her favourite perfume, because he remembers her saying the one she had was almost finished, besides he didn't get her anything material for their one year anniversary and Kate deserves the moon and more.

* * *

At the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, Kate spends the day at work; she doesn't feel like eating but her superior orders everyone to take a break and have lunch. Most of her co-workers bring food from home, but Kate Beckett had never been much of a cooker, so she sometimes goes to the pizza place in front of the FBI building downtown. While waiting for her order, Kate checks her phone every two minutes but still no sign of him.

_Weird_. He is usually so punctual with his texts, even if he couldn't make it on the morning he used to say something during the day.

It was the third week in DC, work was great, she had finally found her place in between her new co-workers and everyone was starting to trust her, problem was she missed having a partner.

She missed him, not only at work but whenever she arrived at her place – an apartment she hadn't referred as _home _yet. Because home is where the heart is and her heart is wherever _he_ is.

* * *

Rick stands outside the terminal of the Dulles International Airport, waiting for a taxi while he texts Jim Beckett asking for Kate's address. Kate's father replies as Rick jumps into yellow car and gives the driver Kate's direction.

When the taxi stops in front of an old but nice building Rick looks around, 'So Kate,' he says to himself as he pays the taxi driver and jumps out of the car carrying his luggage.

He reaches for the front door and a young boy that looks like the doorman stops him.

"Good evening Sir, can I help you?"

"Eh, yeah. Do you know if Kate Beckett lives here?"

"Yes she does, but she didn't say anything about someone visiting..."

Castle sighs, "This means she's home?" The writer asks and the well-dressed young man nods. "I'm her boyfriend."

"Oh, okay I will let you in this time, but make sure to call in first or tell Miss Beckett to tell me."

"Sure, thank you-"

"Mike." The doorman smiles at him opening the door to let Rick in.

"Oh and Mr Castle, it's a pleasure to meet you." The boy says shyly and Rick beams at him.

Castle steps into the elevator and suddenly his hands start to sweat; he takes a look at himself on the mirror, _you can do this Rick, _he murmurs to himself.

He knocks on the door - he never rings the bell - and waits for Kate to come over. Seconds later he hears footsteps getting closer to the wooden surface. He takes a deep breath, but Kate doesn't open the door.

"Who is it?" _Oh God how much he's missed her voice. _

"It's me."

* * *

_**Thoughts?**_

_**Tan tan tan! Cliffy! I have the next chapter half done so hopefully it won't take long to post it :) **_

_**Thank you for all the reviews, favourites and following, you guys are the best!**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Thank you all so much for the follows, favourites and comments :)**_

_**This goes to my twitter friend iiLoveCastle . No worries girl, everything is going to work out. **_

_**Also to my bomb-buddy, because she finished the National Exams today and I'm sure she's aced them all! #Dale :) **_

* * *

Kate let's her head fall against the door. What is he doing here? The ex-detective takes a deep breath and puts her hand on the doorknob; when the door swings open she can't help but sigh. _He is standing at the other side of the door. _For real; this time it isn't one of her many dreams. No. He, her boyfriend - or what she hopes he still is - is standing barely two meters away from her dressed in green jeans, a white button-down and hair dangling over his face. _Looking good._

"Castle..." Kate breathes out as the corners of her mouth twitch up. She is sure he can hear her heart throb inside her chest but _wow_ she doesn't care anymore.

"Hey there stranger," he jokes, awkwardly standing in front of her. Kate steps aside and lets him inside. He takes a look around before turning to Kate again. "Nice place." He says.

Kate presses her lips together and hums in response. "I see you still have boxes to unpack."

"Yeah. Month trial, remember?" Castle nods and lets his bags on the floor, next to the living room table.

"How ar-?"

"What are yo-?"

They say at the same time. They both let out a nervous laugh, "Ladies first," Castle says.

"What are you doing here? And how did you find me?"

"I-, we need to talk, and your father texted me your address."

Kate walks to the couch and Castle follows her. They sit not too close but not too far either. Kate tugs her left leg under her and leans back on the couch.

"How's work?" He begins with an easy question.

"It's better now. At the beginning everyone was so quiet and distance but we are starting to get to know each other."

"I'm glad," Rick says avoiding Kate's eyes, "There's something I need to tell you. Let me talk okay? Don't cut me off." Kate nods and Castle begins his story. "I had lunch with Gina the other day after the book signing at Barnes and Noble. She told me a British editorial was interested in me writing a new saga about James Bond." Castle stops for a moment and looks up to Kate. She looks confused.

"What about Nikki Heat?" She asks.

"I have finished the fifth book and I am more than happy with the ending. I don't want to continue if I don't know how to, and this new offer..._God_, Kate getting to write James Bond has been my dream since I was a kid."

"I know that. But why suddenly stop writing Nikki Heat?"

"I'm okay with the ending, that's all." Rick says avoiding Kate's eyes, because she knows that's not the main reason. Instead of him looking up to her, Kate, slightly lowers her head to meet Rick's blue eyes.

"Castle?" She challenges him.

"It's not about the books, Kate; you know that. I have followed you around for five years now, and yes, the books where my first priority at the beginning but then I got to know you and since then you always came first." Castle sighs.

"I, uh- don't know what to say."

"Kate, Nikki Heat has been my – our – character for a few years. First I fantasized about me and you and I tried to write the future I wanted for us, but now that I have you I don't need more fiction, because the real Nikki Heat is so much better." Castle explains, taking her hand in between his, "What I'm trying to say is that I want to leave the fiction behind and live the real story. You and me not Nikki and Rook, I don't want them to be happy if we aren't."

Kate is speechless; she breathes in and squeezes his hand, "Cas-," Nope, words don't come out, but tears do.

She doesn't deserve him. This man and his way with words get her weak at the knees and she thanks whoever is up there, that she isn't standing because she sure would be on the floor by now.

* * *

"I want real too." She finally manages to let out, "You don't know how badly I want us to work out." Kate says feeling Castle's hand on her cheek. She leans into his touch and lets him wipe off the tears running down her cheeks.

"I flew to London two days ago." He admits looking straight to Kate's eyes. She opens her mouth to speak but can't find the words, again, "I should have told you, I know but, I was so excited that I jumped in the earliest plane and 24 hours later I was in a big office, in central London signing a four book deal."

"I, uh-'"

"I know I should have told you, I'm sorry."

"No, Castle you shouldn't be the one apologizing. I should." Kate starts. She is ready to say it all out loud; he needs to know. "I respect your decision to stop writing Nikki Heat because you can't follow me around anymore and I'm not a NYPD detective either; I also know that sagas shouldn't last long, because people end up tired, so what a better way to start than with James Bond?" Kate smiles up to him and Castle relaxes, letting his left side lean on the couch.

"So, you're not mad?" Castle asks and Kate shakes her head, the smile still on her lips, "Good." The writer says putting a strand of her brown straight hair behind her ear, "I like your hair straight. I like it all ways, but you know… this is different, and it's shorter." The writer says letting his fingers travel down Kate's neck.

"Thanks Castle," Kate says holding his gaze, "You look good as well."

"We make a pretty charming couple, don't we?" Rick decides to get down to the real deal, to what they really need to talk about. Kate freezes, of course they're still a couple but they have stuff to talk about.

"I think we do, yeah." Kate simply responds.

"Kate?" Castle begins. He places his thumb under her chin to lift her head up to look at him. He needs to see her eyes and face expression, "You're month trial ends next week. What are you going to do?"

"I, uh- we need to talk about this Castle. I want to come to a decision with you. As you said we are a couple, we are in this together."

"You like the job don't you?"

"I do, but at the same time I miss being in charge and getting to joke around while working. _I miss you_, you're crazy but usually helpful theories or just your smile telling me 'you've got this Kate,'" the brunette explains as Castle completely listens to her, because she's opening up to him, and he knows this is important to her.

"I miss your coffee and the '_Good Morning detective', _the little things that are maybe too girly, but that actually mean so much to me."

"No Kate, not too girly." Castle shakes his head as he takes Kate's hand again, "I miss following you around as well. The other day I entered a coffee shop and I had to correct myself and ask for just one coffee." Kate lets out a little laugh and intertwines her fingers with his. "What I'm trying to say is, that if you chose going back to New York I'll be more than happy about it. But, if you choose DC I'm going to be here with you. I don't want you to give up on an amazing opportunity for me, Kate. You deserve this job more than anyone, and I'm sure you're going to go far as the years pass by."

Kate stares at him trying to hold back the tears. _She truly doesn't deserve him. _After all the lies and mistakes he is still here telling her how good she is and how she deserves the best.

"Exactly Castle, the years pass by. I'm not getting any younger and what if I want a family, what if I want to become a mom? Remember Jordan Shaw? I don't want to become a workaholic and have to talk through phone on Christmas day because I'm off the country saving the world."

Castle is wordless by now. Has she just told him she wants kids?

"I- uh, you want to be a mom?" Castle needs to make sure he has heard correct.

"Well yeah, not now but I'd like to."

"You're going to be an amazing mom Kate."

"My mom always said I was good with kids," Kate pauses for a second and continues, "I want this job Castle, but I also want us to work. You said you didn't want to leave NYC just three weeks ago…"

"There's no reason to stay in New York when the woman I love isn't there with me." Castle states leaning closer to Kate, he doesn't want to scare her away so he waits for her to pull away; just she doesn't.

The writer closes the distance and delicately places his lips to Kate, in a simple but yet so meaningful kiss. He feels Kate smile against his lips and takes the moment to pull slightly away, "I will follow you anywhere." He closes the distance again leaving sweet pecks on Kate's lips.

* * *

_**Thoughts?**_

_**I'm gonna go hide now. Lol**_

_**What will Kate do? Tan tan tan! Surprise! **_

_**One important thing, this story is supposed to reach 50k words, so things are going to take time. Just saying this cos the angst isn't over, sure we're gonna dive into some cuteness in the next few chapters but this is Caskett we are talking about; and what is a love story without problems?**_

_**Also if you want to follow me on twitter AnnaFont_ie , I always tweet the new chapters of my stories, and if you want me to advert you every time, I also tweet the link to some of my friends, I wouldn't mind sending to more people. Just make sure to leave ur twitter account on the review box or send me a DM.**_

_**- Anna **_


	7. Chapter 7 - Little Things

Kate falls asleep on the couch after the talk and all the _I'm sorrys_ and _I need yous_; Castle watches her as her eyes win the battle to stay open, but before she has the chance to shake her head to stay awake – with him, because she needs him – he brings his soft fingers to her eyes and gently closes them.

"Sleep Kate. I'll be right here when you wake up." He whispers dropping a chaste kiss on her temple.

Castle falls asleep shortly after Kate but gets woken up an hour later by a phone ringing.

"Is it mine?" He hears Kate groan against his chest.

"Yeah it is. Want me to get it for you?" Kate nods and Castle stands up to get the phone, "Looks like you have work," The writer says.

Kate talks to some guy for about five minutes while walking around her living room. Something is not right because she's biting her nails and she only does that when there's a complicated case or something that she doesn't like much. She ends the call and walks back to sit next to Castle.

"I have to go." She says not making eye contact because she's afraid of his reaction. He just got here and told her he'd follow her everywhere and now she gets called in to work at 1am.

_Great._

"Kate," Castle brings his hands to her face and slowly lifts it up, "It's okay; you can go. It's your job and I respect it."

"But you just got her-," She gets cut off by Rick's index finger on her lips.

"Go be the awesome FBI agent I know you are." With a grin on his lips he leans in again and catches Kate's lips one last time before she runs out the door after putting some work clothes on.

* * *

Castle steps on the crowded street at 9am; he has been up for two hours now and he was running out of things to do in Kate's apartment. He had taken a tour around the small but yet so Beckett_-y_ place. He'd seen his books lined on the bookshelf by the window, all her clothes hanged in her wardrobe and all her girly stuff distributed in the three drawers under the bathroom sink.

Castle checks his phone while queuing for coffee in the first Starbucks place he finds; five minutes later he orders two coffees and a bare claw. He drinks his cappuccino in the taxi to Kate's work place. She needs her morning coffee.

_She needs to smile. _

When he reaches the building they don't let him in, so he tells the security guy to take the coffee and the pastry to Kate.

"Agent Beckett?" Someone calls from behind; Kate spins her chair to finds a young man, "this is for you." The guy hands her the cartoon flask and the bear claw.

"Thank you." Kate calls out while she watches the man walk back to the elevator.

_Every morning I bring you a cup of coffee just to see you smile. _His words echo inside her head like the first time she heard them. She remembers their fight at her place and how he ran out because she'd been so _damn_ selfish and had kept secrets from him. She remembers their talk when Castle found out about the plane ticket and ran away again.

She needs to end this; she needs to be loyal and speak to him. Next time they have an argument she's going to be able to stop him from going, because she doesn't want him to run, not anymore.

She takes her time to admire her morning gift and finds a note written on the white coffee flask.

_Good Morning Detective. Little things matter! – RC_

Kate sighs and lets out a little laugh leaning back on her chair. He had listened to her the night before; she'd always known he was a listener but he had actually remembered about the little things that she liked and had missed during the past three weeks.

Kate brings the recipient to her lips and takes a sip of her coffee; _Grande skim latte__, __two pumps sugar__-__free vanilla._

Feels like home.

**Thanks for the coffee and bear claw. Made my morning. **She texts him still grinning at the fact that he took his time to go to a coffee shop and then got it delivered.

**Figured you'd need your source of energy. See you at 8pm in front of the entrance. We're going out. **

He was right. She wasn't the same without her morning coffee, to be honest; she wasn't the same without him.

* * *

The day went on as any other but with more work than usual, as they were working on a new case, and cases meant seriousness and no lunch. Stack sent everyone home at 7.45pm, saying they would meet early in the morning to a fresh start.

Kate was to busy checking her e-mail that she almost didn't feel someone wrap her arms around her body.

"Hello," Castle's voice makes her close her eyes and breath out.

"Hi." She responds turning around to face him, "How are you?"

"Good, you?"

"Ready for our night out." Kate smiles sweetly pecking his lips.

Castle takes her out to some place like Remy's near Kate's apartment; they get a burger and milkshakes, just like they always did in New York. After dinner Castle takes Kate to the Obelisk and they walk hand in hand through the calm and quiet park until Castle speaks.

"I have to get back to work tomorrow. My plane to Ottawa leaves at 9am."

Kate nods, she knows he has responsibilities and she accepts them, but he just got here and saying good-bye again just feels sad.

"How long will you be out the country?" She asks as Castle wraps his arm around her shoulders to keep her closer.

"A week," He says in a low tone, "I can stay if yo-"

"No Castle," Kate cuts him off, "It's your job, and I can't ask you not to do it. It wouldn't be fair to the fans."

"You're more important." He says stopping them from taking another step, "But you're right they are part of the reason I still am, Rick Castle."

"Maybe I could take the weekend off and come with you." Kate states, looking up at him. His face changes the second she says the last three words. He is smiling now, his eyes sparkling as his arms make their way around her waist to bring her even closer.

"I'll be in Vancouver and Victoria for the weekend, have you been there before?" He asks rubbing his nose over hers. Kate shakes her head and leans her forehead to his as she brings her arms up to circle his neck and play with his silky short hair.

"I haven't."

"Oh, you're going to love it Kate. We could go to the Butchard Gardens and the Capilano Brigde and-,"

"Easy cowboy! I have to ask if I can get the weekend off, first." Kate teases bringing her lips closer to his. He plays with the almost inexistence distance for a minute until he can't help it anymore and leans in to capture her lips.

_He'd always had the dream of kissing someone under the Obelisk and now he could cross it out his to-do-list._

* * *

_**Thoughts?**_

_**First, I'm sorry for the delay and I'm going to be completely honest. I decided to watch Scandal and spent the last three days watching the damn perfect show. If you haven't watched it yet, give it a chance, you won't regret it.**_

_**Second, Summer is here and that means lots of writing so be ready :) I will update my other stories as well.**_

_**Third and last, thank you for all the reviews and follows. I'm glad you like the story so far!**_

**-Anna.**


	8. Chapter 8 - Coffee and confessions

**_This goes to Aya. Stay awesome girl. You make mornings fun!_**

* * *

He drops Castle at the airport at 7am and after a 'see you later' and a kiss she watches him walk away thought the crowded terminal. Kate remains in silence, biting her nails, until she can't see him anymore and turns around to walk all the way back to were she parked her car.

At 4pm they close the case and they are all send home for the rest of the day. Kate spends the afternoon walking up and down the streets of DC; she gets some new clothes and before going home she stops at the grocery store. She has to find something to do in the afternoons, as Castle isn't there with her anymore. He is in Canada working and having a good time with his – female – fans.

"Stop it Kate." The brunette says to herself letting the paper bag fall onto the kitchen counter causing a few things falling out because of the impact.

Kate Beckett never was a jealous girl, not before she met Rick Castle, that is.

_Female fans. _The words echo inside her head and she can't help but feel sad. Not angry, because she understands it's his job, but she just doesn't like how every woman seems to want him, "The Richard Castle _him," _Kate correct herself and lets her exhausted body fall on the couch. He is a public figure, girls like him and she just has to learn to live with it, like she has during the past five years.

* * *

On Thursday, Kate wakes up with one mission: get the weekend off so she can spend it with Castle. She stops by the nearest Starbucks coffee to get her morning dose and when she's about to step on the street again she runs into Jordan Shaw.

"Detective Beckett!" the FBI agent greets her with a smile on her face.

"Agent Shaw, good to see you." Kate politely responds.

"What are you doing here?"

"I work for the FBI now." Kate beams at the woman standing in front of her.

"Do you have time for a coffee?"

"I still have thirty minutes so yeah, come on inside." Kate says opening the door again to let Jordan walk in.

Shaw orders a coffee when both women sit down on the booth by the window; "So tell me, how have you been?"

"Good actually. Arresting criminals and doing justice." Kate says placing her hands around the coffee mug.

"What about Castle?" Jordan asks and Beckett lowers her head, beating her lower lip to hide the silly smile on her face. Jordan studies Kate; maybe she has overstepped or maybe-, _smile, _Kate's smiling when their eyes meet again.

"We, uh-. We're dating, we've been for a year now." Kate says not even brothering to hide the big grin covering her face.

"I told you he cared about you. He was good for you back then Kate, and I'm sure he is good now as well, but where is he? If you don't mind me asking."

"Working; doing his real work across Canada." Kate states.

"So, have you two moved here?" Jordan asks wanting to know more.

Kate looks at the woman sitting in front of her and sighs; she really doesn't know her, but she trusts her. Jordan is one of those people that are easy to talk to; she's not Lanie, but right now Kate doesn't need a best friend, she needs an external opinion about a woman that actually knows what working for the FBI means.

"I moved here. I still don't know what Castle's going to do."

"Oh…"

"Yeah, we uh-, had a nasty fight before I left and now we're okay again but it still feels kind of cold. He came by for the weekend, and I'm not going to lie, it was great but I don't know if we could make it long distance. He said he'd follow me everywhere,"

"He would." Jordan agrees. Because she remembers the way he'd treated Kate during that case they worked together; how, apart from all the jokes and being his inner nine year old self, at times; he'd always by her side and ready to fight or protect her if there had been the case.

"But I don't know what to do…" Kate trails off and wonders if Jordan has understood where she's going.

"Kate, don't get you career win over what your heart wants." Jordan says honestly, "I don't want you to make the same mistake I did." The brunette stares at Jordan and immediately understands what she's talking about.

_Family. _

"This job is important for me." Kate insists. Because yes, it actually it as she likes it, but there's_ someone _she likes more than any job or anything.

"Kate," Jordan says resting her arms on the table; she lowers her voice and moves closer to the ex-NYPD detective, "I am good at reading people and you need him. I know you lost your mom years ago and that you never stopped until you caught the guy,"

"He's still free," Kate cuts her off.

"I know, but you did it Kate. You figured it out and I'm sure your mom is so proud of you, wherever she is." Jordan makes a quick pause and continues again, "Wouldn't she want you to be happy? Did she ever tell you, 'Kate you are good with kids; you're going to be a good mom someday'.

She had and Kate remembers the moment and the place. They had been baking cookies for Kate's tennis kids and her mother had said the exact same words Jordan just let out off her mouth.

_Katie, you are good with kids. You're going to be a good mom someday._

A single tear rolls down Kate's cheek and she doesn't move a finger to stop the second to fall down behind.

"Don't make the same mistake I made Kate. Working for the FBI means long hours and being far away from home; it means missing school plays and baseball games and believe me, failing to your kids is the worst thing a mother can do."

Kate remains silent; she drinks all of Jordan's words and _damn she's so right. _Kate doesn't want to miss any school play or baseball game; but she doesn't want to miss any book signing or movie premiere either, but most important; she doesn't want to miss another day far away from him.

That's all that matters now; Castle and their life together.

_Far away form DC and the FBI._

* * *

_**And boom!**_

_**Thoughts?**_

_**(all the mistakes are mine)**_

_**First off, I Love Dana Delany and her character on Castle is something I want back on season six! I decided to bring her in because my sister asked me the other day what episode was she in and this great idea came to my crazy mind. Anyway, I hope you liked it. I think it was interesting because she's an FBI mom and she knows stuff.**_

_**Second, I'm sorry for the delay but I'm going to make it up to you guys! I'm going to try to write 1k words per day and update two times a week. **_

_**Third, I know I'm so far behind on my other two stories but believe me, I am working on them :)**_

_**I wanted to update last night but Spain won the Confederations Cup semi-final and I went nuts. Italy was outstanding tho :) For the ppl that don't know me my life is Castle, Scandal, University and football(soccer). Lol**_

_**Have a nice weekend and I'm sorry Brazilians but we are so winning on Sunday :) Lol jk Good luck ;)**_

_**-Anna **_


	9. Chapter 9 - Decision

After the talk with Jordan Shaw, Beckett walks out of the small coffee shop and into the FBI building; when she arrives at the correct floor, she knocks on Stack's office door to immediately hear a_ 'come on in'_; Kate takes a seat in front of him and nervously places her arms on her thighs, "Agent Beckett, good to see you."

"Good morning." She replies.

"So tell me, have you made a decision?" Stack asks.

_A decision? What?_

Shit. End of month trial; today is her last day. She had to take the week to give her superior an answer and she had done everything but think about the end of the trial.

_Not good._

"Agent Beckett?" Stack repeats trying to catch the brunette's attention.

"I-, uh…"

"You don't have an answer, do you?"

"I do, but…" Kate wants to find the perfect words to say everything without saying much.

"I've seen you work here and you look comfortable. I know it was difficult at first but now you are as good as the ones that have been here for years."

"I do like the job, but I'd like to have a life better." Kate says, her voice low but sure of herself. She has made a decision and she's ready to give up everything just so run to Canada and hug Castle forever; apologize to him and ask for a new start, a better start.

"What do you mean, a life?"

Kate takes a deep breath and moves her eyes up to meet Stack's, "My life this past decade has been about work 24/7 and I think it's time to think about my future. You asked me where could I see myself in five years, remember?" Stack nods, "Well, it's not in DC and neither working for the FBI. Maybe Captain, but right now all I want is to go back home and start living the life I always wanted."

The male agent presses his lips together trying to understand Kate's decision; he'd known from the start that this was a job made for her, because she was strong and persistent, but also comprehensible and tolerant when needed; to sum up, she was _perfect for the job._

"Are you sure?" Stack asks. Kate opens her mouth and closes it again, "I want you to be sure Beckett, because if you say no, it's a _no _forever. You can't come back asking for the job back or apply for another. The FBI comes to you, _you _don't come to the FBI."

She exhales and nods, "more sure that I will ever be." Kate starts to stand up but the man sitting in front of her stops her.

"You have some paperwork to fill out." Stack opens one of the drawers of his wooden table to grab a file, and then he opens the folder in front of Kate and tells her to sign in four different places.

Kate grabs a pen and sighs; _let's do this Kate_, she says to herself as she reads the papers spread in front of her.

* * *

She's free – unemployed – but everything feels right. Good. Excellent. Kate had left Stack's office around noon and had spent the afternoon packing up things in her apartment, she got a plane ticket to Canada and tried to call Castle but he didn't pick up until later that night.

"Hey," His voice makes Kate smile at the other side of the line, "How are you?"

"Ready for bed."

"Oh damn it's nearly 1am there right?" Castle suddenly feels sorry for not thinking about the time difference.

"Uh huh, but it's okay Castle." Kate says falling onto the unmade bed, "I'm just chilling out."

"That's good because you sound tired." It's amazing how well he knows her; how with just hearing her voice he is able to know how she is doing or feeling.

"I had quite a day."

"Tell me about it."

"I…" Kate debates whether to tell him now or wait to surprise him the next day, because she has everything planned out and she really doesn't want to ruin it. "We caught a case and you know how tough it can get."

"Have you solve it, though? I mean, you said you would come over the weekend if you could… and, well…" Castle trails off passing a hand through his hair.

"We did, Castle." Kate chuckles at his sudden disappointment, "But I don't know if I will be able to make it because I am on call."

Castle sighs loudly. He's just so tired of her not being there for him and he being there whenever she needs him. "Okay Kate. I get it, work is work." Castle says clearly not happy. He sounds devastated and Kate feels guilty for lying to him, "I guess I will let you catch up some sleep, talk soon." Castle hangs up before she is able to say something in return. He's clearly mad and he has all the right to be but the surprise is so worth it.

* * *

Kate had spend the whole night awake, she just couldn't sleep after Castle had hung up on her; if only he knew she was lying and that she had a plane ticket to meet him in Victoria the following morning.

Damn Castle and his sudden reactions. But to be honest he had his reasons; he'd been talking about their weekend away together for a while now and Kate had just ruined everything, again.

* * *

But that's past now. From today on there's no more ruining, nor running away, no more secrets. Today is the start of a new era, a new period of time that is about to start sooner than expected. But for now Kate has a five-hour flight and plenty of time to sleep.

* * *

_**Thoughts?**_

_**I know I promised to make longer chapters but I got a job at a summer camp and I'm pretty busy, I wanted to stay up to write the re-encounter but sleep is taking over me; BUT, I promise to have the next chapter ready tomorrow or Thursday tops! I just have to plan the perfect meeting! **_

_**Thank you for being so awesome, for favouriting and reading, but also a huge thank you to the people that take their time to review, it means a lot to me and believe me, I read every comment; sometimes I don't have time to reply but I will get to it asap.**_

_**Have a good one folks! **_


	10. Chapter 10 - Ferry

**Just a reminder that they ARE NOT engaged in this story. Rick hasn't proposed[yet].**

* * *

"You're never going to believe who I saw in the cafeteria?" Kate overhears a woman tell someone. She's just not in the mood for anything right now.

She had landed in Vancouver at 8am in the morning thinking she would find Castle still in his hotel but once she'd got there the man in the reception first said he couldn't give out that kind of information, let alone him being a celebrity; then was when Kate missed having a badge or her FBI credential. Kate had turned to leave when she spotted Gina walking out the elevator.

"Gina!" She'd never liked that woman, but right now she was all Kate needed.

"Detective Beckett, nice to see you." Gina flashed her best smile to the brunette, "Can I help you?"

"Actually yes, I'm looking for Castle."

"Oh, he left about half an hour ago. He's taking the next ferry to Victoria."

"When does it leave?"

Gina checked her watch, "Leaves in an hour. If you leave now you'll be able to catch it." She smiled as Kate's face lit up.

_Finally some good news!_

"He was sad this morning. He didn't even drink his coffee," Gina told Kate, "I don't know what's going on and it's none of my business, but he has loved you for a long time now. Remember when we went to the Hamptons?" Kate felt the world crash on her shoulders, a weak smile appeared on her lips while she brought her eyes back to Gina's, "He already loved you back then, I could feel it. It was always Kate this, Kate that…" The brunette smiled then, of course the summer had been the worst of her life so far, but Gina's words kind of reassured her. "What I'm trying to say is, you two are worth all the fights and distance. Whatever has happened you'll get through it." Gina said placing a hand on Kate's upper arm, showing some support.

"I'm sure we will," Kate responded, "Now I better go." Kate said rushing out of the hotel to stop a cab.

She arrived on time to catch the ferry but Castle was nowhere to be seen.

* * *

"Who did you see?" A female voice asks. This conversation and a baby crying is all she hears right now, so she decides to listen to the two ladies.

"I first I didn't know it was him, but some young woman approached him with his latest book, Froze- "

"You're telling me that Rick Castle is on this boat?" Kate suddenly turns around, her mouth wide open and in need of air.

_Breathe Kate._

She silently walks up to the two middle-aged women and sits in front of them, "Excuse me, " Kate captures their attention. Two pair of kind blue eyes look up to her, "Are you sure it was Richard Castle?" She asks at the dark-haired woman.

The Canadian woman nods, "Yes, it was him. I am 100% sure."

Kate leans back with a huge smile on her face because Castle is in the same ferry she is, breathing the same air and heading to the same direction. "You look happy." The blonde woman tells Kate; she puts a strand of her hair behind her ear and nods.

"I am; I've been looking for him all morning."

"Haven't we all?" The brown haired woman mocks.

Beckett feels the jealousy rise up again. _Stop it Kate_, she says to herself. "Thank you for your help," She smiles at the two women and stands up.

"You're not just looking for him, are you?"

"Actually no." Kate smiles waving goodbye. She doesn't want to be rude but she has probably less than half an hour to find Castle, before the ferry makes it to the Port of Victoria.

She runs through all the boat, opens every door and even enters the men's room asking for him. Nowhere to be seen; Rick is a ghost or someone is playing with her. Kate opens the door that leads to the deck, and steps outside the rather chilly weather; it's summer but clouds have taken over the island and Kate suddenly shivers. She stares at the beautiful landscape; the ferry has now left the open ocean and is entering the canal that leads to the arrival point, Victoria. As she walks down the deck she admires the beauty and unique view, everything is so very clean and dark green, it looks calm and silent; everything the city isn't. Kate starts dreaming of retiring in here, away from everyone and everything, to make things easy and-,

_Rick._

She has reached the stern and there he is, leaning on the metal bars that mark the end of the passenger's area, looking at the ship's wake, the canadian flag waving above him.

Kate pulls her phone out of her jeans pocket and takes a picture. He looks amazing and the place is just fantastic; so photogenic.

Kate stares at him for two long minutes trying to decide what to do, trying to find the words and courage to say it all and get him back; get everything back to how it was before she got the job interview and everything got ruined.

_You can do this Kate, _she whispers to herself, taking one step closer to him. A few seconds later she's barely four meters away; she can hear him hum and see him nervously move his hands. Kate opens her mouth to start talking but closes it again; _come on Kate, you catch killers for a living. You can do this. _A gust of wind brings the smell of his cologne to her and Kate smiles; she loves the way he smells it's just so-

_Into the business, Kate._

She takes a deep breath, "Castle…" It comes out before she's able to stop herself, but_ great_, she has said it. In front of her, Castle freezes; his hands clasp together and she hears him take a deep breath as he slowly turns around.

"Kate" He doesn't want to smile, but as he starts to realize this is real, that she is standing right in front of him, the corners of his lips twitch up.

"Hi." She whispers taking a step closer to him.

"Hi" Castle responds trying not to reach out for her and pull her close, "What are you doing here? You said you couldn't because you were on call…" Rick now looks at his girlfriend with a question look.

"I…" _lied;_ she doesn't want to use this word because she'd only played with him to surprise him. Then it isn't a lie, right? "Let's just say that I wanted to surprise you."

"You lied, Kate." Castle states, his voice low, "Couldn't you just tell me that you were coming? Why make me feel so devastated and angry at you for a few hours, why?"

Kate's lips start to tremble; he definitely doesn't like the surprise. "Okay, I lied. But I did it because I wanted to surprise you."

"I'm tired of surprises, Kate." Castle huffs turning around to stare at the wake again. Kate is speechless, she hadn't thought about him reacting like this, to be honest. "I'm tired of always coming back to you and you doing nothing to help me. I'm tired of giving and receiving nothing in return." He hides his face behind his hands.

"That's going to change, from today on." Kate says trying to win his attention back, "I am here Castle, I came all the way from DC to surprise you, to tell you that _you _are all I need, all I want. I can't stand being angry and uncomfortable around you. I know I was wrong and that I've lied to you more than one time but I am here to gain your trust back, to win _your love_ back." Castle still doesn't turn around and Kate is running out of arguments, she has never been good with words. That's his thing.

"You know, I've never been a jealous woman. I've never had doubts, but when you appeared in my life I started to get jealous of every girl that approached you or every date you mentioned; I hated myself for being that weak around you but you always had this power over me. You saved _me_, you know Castle?" Kate stops for a few seconds to catch her breath and to wipe a tear that'd started its way down her tanned face. Castle takes the break to turn around; Kate avoids looking at him because she knows she'd break if she met his eyes, even just for a second. "My mom read your books and before she died she encouraged me to read them," Kate smiles recalling her mother placing one of his first books on her study table, "Your books are the reasons I didn't drawn myself into alcohol or did any other stupid thing another teenager would have done in my situation. Your words made me realize that life's worth living, that there's always a way out of trouble and bad situations."

"Kate I…" Rick tries to speak but Kate lifts up one hand to stop him.

"Then I met you and I have to say that I hated you at first but you made your way to my heart. You made me slowly open up to you, and I started to trust you, started to see you as a friend. You saved me that day at the cemetery; your _words _kept me alive and I, as always, ruined it. I lied to you for a year but we found our way out and this past year…" Kate sighs and chuckles, "This past year has been the best of my life. But, as a couple, we've had our ups and downs; now we are in the rabbit whole, but we will stand up and climb out, just like we always do. Because we love each other, we have for a long time now, and we are worth another chance. We deserve another chance."

Castle stares at the extraordinary woman that's trying so hard not to let the tears run down her face. This is the most open she's ever been since he met her five years ago; he didn't know a thing about what his books did to her, he didn't know her mother was a fan; He has never met Johanna but he likes her. Kate is right, they have had their ups and downs, they've been in death situations and they have always found a way out.

_So will they now._

"What do I need to do for you to trust me again, Rick?"

* * *

_**So here it goes!**_

_**I wanted them to meet in the ferry between Vancouver and Victoria because it has a special meaning to me. To the people that have taken it will agree with me that the landscape is absolutely breath taking; for real, I've never seen anything as beautiful, and Victoria is my fav city in the world, so be ready for some caskett fun!**_

_**I want you guys to tell me what do you think about Kate's speech. Was it good? Too OCC? Let me know ;)**_

_**- Anna.**_


	11. Chapter 11 - Trust

_"What do I need to do for you to trust me again, Rick?"_

Castle stares at her for what feels like hours. He doesn't know what to do or how to react to Kate's words, should he pull her in for a hug or keep distanc-

_Screw_ distance. He wraps his strong arms around her tiny but strong body and pulls her closer to him. Chest to chest, cheek to cheek. Inexistence distance between them, and _oh_ how much has he missed this, being closer to her; to be able to comfort and support her- _to be_ _her north star_.

But.

Everything isn't solved yet. Their relationship isn't this easy; they still have things to talk about.

Castle gently moves his hand to cares Kate's soft hair to finally settle his right hand on her upper back as Kate starts to react to the hug and moves her arms around Castle's body, holding him tight. She feels the tears coming out of her eyes and Rick holds her even tighter when he notices she is crying against him.

"I trust you Kate" Castle says when they pull away. He immediately misses her, the warmth of her body and how well they fit together, but he decides it's better to remain distant while they talk.

"No you don't." She shakes her head, "We don't fully trust each other and we need to, to make this relationship work. Because that's what I want, us to work."

"I want that too." Castle agrees talking a shy step towards Kate. He grasps her hand and carefully intertwines his fingers with hers.

"What do I need to do to make you trust me again?" Kate repeats the question because she knows Castle lied about fully trusting her.

Castle sighs, "You should have told me about the job," Kate opens her mouth to reply but Rick continues before she's able to talk, "I thought we were in this together but you left me aside and even went to DC without telling me."

"I've already told you that I am sorry. I know it was wrong for me to not tell you but I didn't want to worry you if I later didn't get the job."

"You thought I would want to go with you. You thought I would never choose you over my life in NYC." Castle states as Kate tries to keep a straight face because he is so right. She is scared. "Kate, I've waited four years to be with you and this past year has been the best of my life. Did you really think I wouldn't follow you to DC?"

Kate nods shyly avoiding his eyes. "You don't know me at all." Castle struggles taking a step back. He leans back against the metal bars and fixes his eyes on the wake of the ship.

"I do know you. You are the guy that saved me years ago, you are the writer that helped me through my mother's death. You are the nine year old on a sugar rush that I hated working with the first year but you are also the person that never gave up on me after all the lies and mistakes. You were always there at 9am sharp, coffee in hand just to see me smile. You are the guy that risked his life to save mine more than once." Kate stops for a second but still he doesn't react to her honest words.

"What does that mean for us? You're moving to DC and-,"

"I quit." Kate states and watches Castle freeze. He slowly turns around to face her again.

"You said so last year and you went back to the field." He knows he's not being fair but he is just so tired of her being scared to talk to him. He needs to know the truth.

"You can't expect me to give up my job. I like what I do."

"I haven't and will never ask you to do so Kate. You know that." Castle says softly.

Beckett lowers her head. She knows that he would never ask her to do so, he has told her more than one time that her being a cop is one of the things he admires the most about her.

"The problem is that we don't trust each other," Kate says searching for his eyes, "I think you are afraid of fully trusting me because all the women in you life walked away from you."

"Don't even go there." Castle states angrily, "You don't know the whole story." He now yells making it clear that doesn't want to talk about it, but she does.

"Then tell me." Kate shouts back, "let me in Castle."

* * *

He stares at her with his lips pressed together and blinking rapidly so the tears don't come out. He intends to turn around to stare at the wake again but Kate stops him, hand firmly on his arm.

"Look at me."

Castle takes a deep breath and begins, "Kyra left because she needed time. I was going to propose the day she left to London," Kate is about to cut him off, because this is hard for him to explain, but Castle stops her, "I met Meredith at a party and she was fun and beautiful. We were young and after five months of a solid relationship she got pregnant. I think I've never been more scared in my life but when Alexis came along I just... She changed me, she was that tiny person that kept on looking up at me with her big and kind eyes, and only ate and pooped but I immediately fell in love with her. At the other side, Meredith went back to work and…"

"Castle it's okay you don-"

"I want to." He cuts her off, "She cheated on me with her director."

_Oh_, that was unexpected.

"I... I stormed out taking Alexis with me and I didn't see her until a month later. She pretended like nothing happened and wanted to jump into bed again, so first thing in the morning I got the divorce papers." Castle looks up to find Kate staring at him with tears in her eyes. She hadn't thought that had been the reason. At the beginning, when she first started to hear from him, she believed he was like any other rich young star but apparently Rick Castle had been the one to get his heart broken and not the other way around.

"Gina had been working with me since the beginning and I don't really know why I ended up proposing, I guess I just needed someone and Alexis a mother figure to look up to. But you know Gina, she is all work and at the end that's all we had in common."

"Castle I… didn't know." Kate says reaching for his hand which he lets her grab without hesitation.

"But then I met you. You've changed me Kate. I'm not that cocky rich writer I was in my mid-twenties, I'm different; I am _better_." He finally smiles, weakly but he does.

Kate is speechless, she can't find the words to comfort him but he doesn't look sad, more like relieved. Castle looks up again and decides to change the subject.

"You seemed happy with your job in DC. I don't want you to give on your dreams because of me."

"Castle it was my decision. I chose you, you should be thrilled about it."

"I am. But does that mean you get back to the 12th?"

"I don't know. I think I need some time to think of what comes next."

"Okay." He softly replies, "Sure take your time, I still have a week of book tour and after it I might be sent over seas."

_Panic mode on._

"What?"

"I get to write James Bond now, remember?"

"Yes I do, but… Can't you write it from NYC?"

"It's my first book Kate, I need to do research." Castle explains. They hadn't talked about it because Castle hadn't wanted to worry her over the phone but in the last meeting with Gina and Paula he had agreed to follow an MI6 operative agent and his team.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to tell you in person. This is awesome news and the fact that-,"

"Castle, I gave up my work at the FBI because I want to be with you, because our future is what matters to me and now you're saying that you are leaving for three months?"

"Well… I, yes."

Kate sighs loudly trying to control her emotions, she hadn't expected that either. She steps away from him and walks in circles trying not to burst into tears in front of him.

"Come with me." Castle suddenly says making Kate look back up at him.

"I'm sure you have a lot vacations days saved up. Come with me to London, let's spend the summer together and gain our trust back. There's no better way to start over than in another city, away of what we already have shared."

* * *

_**So here it goes! Thoughts? **_

_**I'm basically stopping here because I'm stuck and I don't know what I'm going to do with Kate's reaction. What do you think? What should Kate do?**_

_**Thank you so much for reading, reviewing and following the story, it means a lot to me that you like it so far; specially the last chapter because I wasn't sure about Kate's speech. I wrote it three times and finally decided to post the first one. I'm glad it wasn't too OOC and you guys liked it. :)**_


	12. Chapter 12 - About time

**Friendly reminder that they **_**aren't**_** engaged.**

_(They are still on the ferry on this chapter)_

* * *

"Castle!" Kate shouts to stop him from continue babbling about how perfect London would be.

He blinks twice and fixes his eyes back on hers, "What?" He asks confused.

"Where you even listening to me?"

Castle debates whether to say yes or no, or just shut up because to be honest he wasn't paying that much attention, but now Kate is looking at him in that 'I know what you're thinking face' she does so well, "I'm sorry. I wasn't completely listening to you but Kate, London would b-," And there's her killer face again.

"Castle I do not have vacation days saved up because right now I am unemployed. I said _no_ to my job in DC. Remember I had a month trial," Castle nods, "Well I decided to not continue and go back to New York with you and continue the life we had, because that's what I want."

"You already told me that, Kate," Castle is confused, he doesn't know where Kate is heading with this conversation.

"That's the _damn _point Castle. I _want _us back home, to New York, to our families, to the Precinct and our friends."

She's being honest. Completely open and this is good because it has taken him years, and mostly this past year to really get her to open up.

"Kate I still need to go to London, you know how important research is to me."

Kate runs her hand through her hair and lets out a loud sigh, "Why not continue with Nikki Heat?"

"I told you, I like the ending and I would also like to write something different and new. James Bond has always been my dream. _Casino Royale_ was the book-," Castle stops for a few seconds remembering the encounter with his dad months ago but also trying to remember that day at the New York Public library, "It was the book that made me want to become a writer." He explains earnestly. No jokes, just the truth, because as much as he will miss writing about Nikki and Rook, he doesn't need fantasies and impossible dreams anymore. He has her and that's enough, for now. _And forever._

Kate stares at him for a minute before answering, "I didn't know it was so important to you Castle." She says softly, reaching to touch his arm in understanding. They stay silent for a while until Castle decides to step away from the beautiful woman standing in front of him.

"Where are you going?" Kate asks.

"We're here." He says pointing at the port appearing in front of them.

"I'm not leaving this boat until we figure this out, Castle." She states. Rick stares at her a finally gives in, damn this woman and her looks.

"Kate-,"

"No," She cuts him off, "Now I _am _the one who talks. I've been hiding for so long and I think it's time I do something for others. You've done so much for me these past five years and I still don't know how to thank you."

"You don't ha-" Castle trails off when he bring his eyes back on hers, "Right, continue."

"It's time I do something for you Castle." She smiles up at him and giggles at his confused face, "What I am saying is that… I will go with you to London but first I have to get my job back."

"Really? You'll come with me?"

He's so adorable when he smiles and gets so excited about something, "Sure, why not? Plus, I haven't been to London," She grins, "But first, my job back."

"Kate you can do that when we get back." Castle tries to convince her.

"No."

"Why not?"

"What if they get a new detective or what-,"

"They won't." Castle shakes his head.

"I'm getting my job back Castle, mainly because unlike you I don't have lots of zeros in my bank account and you know how much I hate when you pay for my things."

Castle nods. They'd had an argument months ago because Castle had paid for the whole ski trip without even telling Kate. From that day he always lets Kate pay a part even if it kills him.

"Okay, job back." Castle agrees walking back inside to get his things that were in a safe closet in the reception.

* * *

After half an hour they manage to get off the ship and hail a cab that drives them to Castle's hotel - soon to be theirs. He doesn't touch her for the entire drive, nor Kate pushes it, because they may have talked things trough but they both know it's gonna take a while to get back to how things where before.

_About time. _

* * *

**So here it goes! I know it's short but I've had a hell of a week and now I'm finally 100% on vacations. I've been thinking about this story for a while now and I've decided to change some things; change the story I first had planned.**

**Also, I wanna personally thank all the people that review as an anon. Thank you so much for taking tour time to write down our thoughts.**

**Thank you to everyone that toke your time in the last chapter to help me out with the direction of this story; I don't know what I would have done without you. **

**Enough talking, enjoy your week and I will try to upload on Wednesday or even earlier if I have time :) **

_**Thoughts?**_

_**-Anna**_


	13. Chapter 13 - His muse

_After half an hour they manage to get off the ship and hail a cab that drives them to Castle's hotel - soon to be theirs. He doesn't touch her for the entire drive, nor Kate pushes it, because they may have talked things trough but they both know it's gonna take a while to get back to how things where before._

_About time._

* * *

They dance around the suite hanging their clothes in the wardrobe and placing all the shoes at one side of the bed. Kate tells Castle that she will organize the bathroom and he agrees because he knows she needs space for her girly stuff and to be honest he likes the way she places all his things in order.

About fifteen minutes later, Kate reappears in the room to find Castle sitting on the bed with his back leaning against the headboard.

"Castle." Kate says trying to get his attention but he doesn't move or reply. Kate walks up to the bed and _oh,_ his eyes are closed and he is peacefully breathing in an out. He must be really tired, Kate says to herself while she stares down at the man lying on the comfortable king-sized bed. Carefully, not to wake him up, she moves her hand to brush the hair that falls on his forehead, letting her hand run through his silky dark hair and down to caress the right side of his neck.

"Kate…" He stirs at her touch.

"Shh Castle go back to sleep." She whispers helping him move so that now he is completely lying on the mattress, "I'm going to get us some lunch."

"Kay." He manages to say before his eyes shut close again.

Kate decides to get something to eat outside the hotel, to give her time to explore around and get to know more about Vancouver, a city that Castle apparently likes a lot; she will have to ask him about that later.

After a twenty-minute walk she spots a chinese and decides to try it out. She asks for exactly the same they get when in New York, because Castle is very sophisticated when it comes to Asian food; he only likes a few things. He is more of an Italian food kinda guy, and she will never tell him this, because his ego is big enough, but his pasta carbonara is the best she has ever eaten.

She sets the cartoon boxes on the table and looks around for Castle but he is nowhere to be seen until Kate decides to open the curtains. That's when she finds him; he is sitting on one of the wooden chairs of the terrace, talking with someone on the phone.

_Alexis. _Kate hears him say. He must miss his daughter a lot.

She decides not to break their moment so she leans against the window frame and watches him cheerfully talk to his daughter. She wonders if they will ever get there, if she will ever get pregnant and if she would be a great mother.

She wants a baby, that's a true fact, but does he?

"What's going on that pretty little head of yours?" Castle's voice startles her. Had he been watching her all the time and she didn't notice?

"Uh, nothing important." She lies. They – more like she - is not ready for a baby talk yet, or at least that's what Kate Beckett tells herself. "Did you sleep well?" She asks with a little smile.

"I did." He replies placing his phone on the table, "Lunch? I'm starving."

"I'll bring everything out. You wait here." Kate states touching his shoulder, giving it a little squeeze, before walking inside again.

* * *

They talk about general things during the meal; Kate asks about how's Alexis doing in Costa Rica and Castle explains, detail by detail, everything his daughter just told him over the phone; he gets so excited when it comes to his redhead girl, it's adorable. They don't mention the FBI or London; they've had enough for today. Maybe tomorrow they will talk about it again, but right now they enjoy their time together before he gets called in to attend another book signing.

And he does. Gina calls when they are halfway through their meal to tell Castle that his next book signing will be taking place at one of the hotel's conference rooms in an hour. She knew it would be like this, but Kate had hopped to get the afternoon for them to spend it together and now she had to watch him leave again, even if he will only be a few blocks down.

"What are you going to do while I'm down there?" Castle asks walking out of the bathroom all dressed up after taking a quick shower.

"Uh, I don't know. I will explore around for a bit."

"That's a good idea. I have reservations for tonight." Castle explains, putting on his shoes.

Kate smiles at that. Reservations. Date night. Time to find something impressive and gorgeous to wear. "Great. I guess I'll see you later." Kate says walking up to him. They stare at each other for what feels like hours, until Castle lowers his head to briefly peck Kate's lips.

"I'll see you later." He beams at her before turning around to leave the room.

* * *

After an hour and four different boutiques Kate finds the perfect dress; not too flashy, not too serious; just so very her. And she knows Castle likes her just the way she is. Speaking of the devil, Kate sees a poster indicating his book signing when she walks into the lobby carrying her new dress. Fast as she can go, she leaves the dress in their suit and then runs to the hotel's cafeteria to get Castle a coffee. _He'd like that,_ Kate says to herself.

Coffee is their thing and they need to bring back the little things, the things that matter.

She walks by the everlasting line of people until she spots Gina. The publisher lets her walk pass the security guy that had first stopped her saying that she needed a credential to enter the zone.

"I'm sure Richard will need that coffee." The blonde woman says walking Kate to him.

"I thought it would cheer him up."

"That I am sure. And the fact that you are here also helps, you know?" Kate looks confused at Castle's ex, "He smiles more."

"Oh!" That's Kate's reaction, simple but honest.

"Go see him Kate." Gina squeezes the brunette's shoulder.

She stares at him for two long minutes. How he smiles up at the person standing in front of him, then reaches for the book, signs it and with a nod and a 'Thank you for coming' gives it back. She knows his routine because she has been at the other side of the table four times, but now that she gets to see him from the other side she understands how much he really does respect and love his fans.

Castle feels someone squeeze his shoulder as a steamy cup of coffee appears on the desk.

_Kate._

He knows it's her not only because of the coffee, but because no one ever squeezes his shoulder; normally he gets a pat on the back or a simple 'Break time Rick' but this – the squeeze thing - that can only be Kate.

"Hey." Her soft voice is like music to his ears.

"Hello." He replies back, his lips immediately twitching up.

God he has missed her and now that they are finally back together he is going to do everything to bring things back to the way they were before, "What are you doing here?" Stupid question, because she knows why she's visiting him.

"I thought you might need some cheering up and of course, I brought you coffee."

"Thank you Kate." He says reaching for the white mug.

"You're welcome." She smiles, "I'm going to let you continue. I'll be right there." She points somewhere behind.

"Stay. For a while." He grabs her wrist before she is able to turn around and walk away. Castle looks up to meet her eyes and laughs at her confusion, "A writer is nothing without his muse."

* * *

_**Here you go. Thoughts?**_

_**I have the continuation almost finished but I didn't want to post it all, as one chapter because it almost reaches 4.000 words and I honestly don't like really long chapters. **_

_**I will try to update before Monday because that's the day I'm going on vacations for a week and I don't know it I will be able to update.**_

_**Thank you all for the reviews and follows, they mean a lot to me.**_

_**Also, for the people that asked about the change in the story I meant that I first had it planned to go different but I like this way better.**_

_**Have a nice weekend!**_

_**-Anna.**_


	14. Chapter 14 - Someday

"You want to grab a chair, sit beside me?" Castle asks.

"I..." Kate looks around trying to find an answer. She wants to sit beside him and meet his fans, but at the same time she's shy about it, "I rather watch you work."

"Fine by me." Castle beams at Kate who shoots him a look because there is a woman awkwardly waiting for her book to be signed.

"I'm sorry for making you wait." Rick pulls off his best smile as he reaches for the book.

"Are you the detective? The inspiration for Nikki Heat?" The middle-aged woman asks once she spots Kate standing right behind Castle, who wants to immediately answer and shout for everyone to listen that the woman behind him is indeed his muse and love of his life, but he decides to let Kate talk.

She swallows in, "Yes, I am."

"Wow, it's nice to meet you in person." She smiles taking the signed book back.

"Mom, mom!" Kate suddenly feels something, or rather someone crash against her legs, two pair of tiny arms rapidly wrapping around her.

Kate looks down to find a boy with curly blond hair, dressed in jeans and an orange t-shirt. She stares at the little person for a few seconds, trying react in the most natural way, "Hey," Kate ruffles the boy's hair and kneels in front of him, "Where's you-"

"You not mommy." The little boy says looking around in panic.

"It's okay buddy. Where's your mommy?" Kate asks, now in a softer tone so the boy starts to trust her.

He looks scared; his eyes roam the big room in search for his mother as a single tear makes its way out his green eyes. Kate grabs his little hands and sits down on the chair that Castle had offered her just minutes ago; with the boy on her lap Kate asks again. " My name is Kate. What's your name?"

The little boy looks up at her and hesitates for a second to finally shake his head. "I am a cop, I can help you find your mom." Kate explains slowly so the little man gets everything. He can't be older than four.

"You a cop?" His eyes light up at Kate's statement, "Gun?"

"I am not on duty now, so I am not carrying the gun. But I can still help you find your mom." Kate explains rubbing the boy's back. Her eyes drift away from her new friend to find Castle looking at her in awe, like she's a piece of art. He lovingly smiles at his girlfriend who moves her right hand up to hide her blushing face.

She's going to be such an incredible mom someday, and he's going to make sure _someday_ happens.

"I love playing cops." The boy suddenly says.

"I know someone that likes playing cops as well. You want to meet him?" Kate asks smiling up at Castle who laughs at Kate's words.

The boy nods and Kate turns him around so now he is facing both, Kate and Castle.

* * *

"This is Rick." Kate states.

"Hey buddy!" Castle smiles down at the little boy that now looks more relaxed and confident, "how are you?"

"She's a cop!" He jumps on Kate's lap in excitement, "this is so cool."

Castle and Beckett can't help but laugh at the kid's reaction; he is one adorable boy.

"She is the finest cop, believe me." Castle shots Kate a look and sees her blush.

"Andrew! Andrew!" A female voice breaks the comfortable silence between the couple and the little boy.

"Mom!" Andrew's head turns to spot her mother running to him, he doesn't move though; instead he leans on Kate's chest.

"Andrew Thomas Dwayne, do not run away from me like that ever again." A young blonde woman appears right in front of the trio reaching up for her son, "I was so scared." She nearly cries hugging Andrew tight. When she finally calms she puts the boy down and looks at the two people sitting in front of her. "I am sorry if he caused any trouble." She apologises.

"He was fine all the time don't worry." Castle says.

"I am sorry he interrupted your book signing Mr Castle but one minute he was there and when I turned around he wasn't."

"I completely understand." Castle politely responds because he does know what this woman has been through in the past minutes. He lost Alexis when she was just five and he went nuts and didn't calm down until he found her trying on a princess dress at Disney Store.

"She is a cop mom." Andrew looks up at her mom while pointing at Kate.

"Oh, thank you." The blonde nods at Kate, "He has a thing for guns and police cars."

"He was no trouble, believe me. He even asked for my gun, I think that's adorable." Kate grins at Andrew who pretends to shoot Kate with his little hands forming a gun. Kate decides to play along and acts as if the bulled had touched her, "Oh, ouch you shoot me."

The boy giggles and acts it out again but pointing at Rick this time; the writer happily obliges and ends up falling half on top of Kate who caresses his cheek and ruffles his hair.

"We need a doctor Andrew, he can't die." Kate says closing Castle's eyes so he continues on with the show.

"Me doctor." The boy shouts excited. He takes a step forward to the _ill_ writer and cures his fake injures and then makes him sit back up.

"You saved my life, thank you." Castle says shaking Andrew's small hand.

"We should go now Andrew. Say goodbye."

The boy looks up to his two new friends and waves shyly, "Goodbye Andrew." Kate says softly.

"Goodbye chief!" Castle rubs the boy's back before watching him and his mother walk away from them. He then turns his head to watch Kate. She still has her eyes focused on the door Andrew and her mother just walked out from, and Castle doesn't want to disturb her, so instead of speaking he reaches for her hand to give it a little squeeze letting her know that he is there and that they will have this conversation, not now nor later, but maybe tomorrow or once they are back home.

_You want more kids?_

_Well, I'd like the option._

She does too.

* * *

_**Hey guys! **_

_**I'm back from my holidays and here's the new chapter. I'm so sorry I didn't update last week but I really didn't have time to sit down and write.**_

_**This idea came to my head when my little cousin came running to me one day asking to play cops with him, and I'm not gonna lie I had a great time. Lol **_

_**Anyway, I hope you liked it and as always I would like to know what you think. Also if you want anything happening in this fic let me know, and I will be happy to add it.**_

_**Just a friendly reminder that they are in Victoria, BC, Canada.**_

_**Finally, thank you for all the reviews and follows. I will try to get to your comments in the next two days :)**_

_**-Anna**_


	15. Chapter 15 - Love always wins

After the book signing Rick and Kate walk the store for an hour looking for nothing in particular but once they reach the crime-mystery section Kate turns to Rick with a question look.

"What?" Rick asks leaning against the bookshelf.

"What if Nikki and James Bond meet? I mean, in your book." Kate asks copying Rick's pose.

Castle sighs running his hand through his hair before looking back up to meet Kate's eyes across the small space between them. "I don't know if that will work."

"Why not?"

"I can't tell you that because that's part of the ending of Deadly Heat."

"Oh come on Castle." Kate huffs throwing her hands in the air.

"Kate, I have never revealed any of my books to anyone-"

"You sometimes tell me things." Kate shoots back. She needs to know why this sudden change, why he decided to stop writing Nikki Heat.

"Kate," He takes a step forward, "you know I would tell you everything; God I would give you the manuscript now to read it," Rick continues taking another step to finally stand in front of Kate, "The only reason I don't want you to read it before the others is because I don't want to ruin the surprise."

"What surp-" The words die on Kate's mouth as Rick presses his index finger against her soft lips.

"Telling you would also kill the surprise, wouldn't it?" He pulls off his best smile as Kate drags him closer by wrapping her arms around his waist, "Want to grab dinner?" Rick tries to move away but Kate hugs him tighter.

"Wait, just one minute." She whispers leaning in, noses brushing, foreheads touching.

"Kay." Castle quietly replies dropping a soft kiss on Kate's cheekbone, that makes her let out a little giggle while her hands make their way around his neck to finally let their lips touch for a brief second. As soon as Kate pulls back Castle brings her back in to guide their mouths together again, holding even tighter.

_It's been too long. _

They get carried away for a minute but when Castle's soft hands touch Kate's warm waist skin she rapidly pulls away. "We are in a public place." She says but Castle pretends like he hasn't heard her, "Castle…" It comes out as a moan when he sucks her pulse point, "Rick." That finally catches his attention. "Not here. Later." Kate says caressing his face when he nods, "Come on, I'm starving."

* * *

They walk hand in hand for a while until they reach an old building with the letters The Old Spaghetti Factory at the top of it.

"What is this?"

"The Old Spaghetti Factory." Rick responds like it's the most normal place in the world.

"I can see that, Castle." She softly punches his chest. When they make it to the reception hall, a young woman takes the two of them and another group of four around the building that really is a factory. Castle looks like a kid in Disney Store, while Kate's mesmerized by the place and all the old machines that used to make the pasta in the 70s.

At the end of the tour, Evelyn, their guide, invites them to the restaurant and of course Castle already had made a reservation under his undercover name, _Rick Rodgers. _He always uses this name when they go out, basically to avoid the press but also to hide their relationship from the restaurants. Apparently you can't trust anyone when you are famous.

"Buona sera, my name is Paul and I will be your waiter tonight. We have an extensive menu, but I highly recommend the spaghetti, as it is after all, our speciality."

"Thank you Paul. To begin with we will share a bottle of Stella Pinot Grigio, 2003." Rick says to Paul who writes it down on his note-pad and walks away.

"This place is really nice." Kate says opening the menu.

"I came here with Alexis when she was six and we loved it, so I thought I had to bring you. They have the best pasta, believe me." Rick says placing his right hand on his heart.

"Looks like the only option I have is, believe you." Kate teases winking at him.

"You wound me, Beckett."

* * *

When Paul comes back, he takes their orders and promises to bring the starters in ten minutes, as there aren't many taken tables tonight. True to his word, the young man comes back later with one Cesar Salad and two plates.

"Thank you." Kate nods at Paul who smiles politely at both of his clients.

The salad is unbelievably good and so is the garlic bread that Paul brings them when they are halfway though the starter.

While they wait for their main course Castle tells Kate his schedule for the weekend and what he has planned for their free time, not mentioning a surprise he is still taking care of. When the spaghetti arrive they stay in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying the meal and each other's company. Castle is too immersed in his spaghetti that doesn't see the one-year-old baby that has just arrived with his parents, and that has taken Kate's heart in less than five seconds.

"How's your macaroni Bolognese?" Rick asks, his eyes traveling up to find Kate looking across the room, "Kate?" He tries again, not succeeding either.

"I want one." The words are out before she is able to think about the consequences. Rick's eyes travel to where Kate is looking and doesn't understand what she is so mesmerized about.

"What? Champagne?" He asks when he sees Paul bring a bottle to the couple that has just entered.

Kate turns around with a serious face, "Can you stop joking for a while? I just said that I want a…" Kate trails off not knowing if she should continue, because this conversation means giving another step into their relationship and she wants to, she just doesn't know if they are ready.

"What do you want?" Castle asks more serious and concentrated now. Kate looks concerned about something and he is going to let her speak.

"Remember this afternoon with Andrew?" Castle nods, "Well I… had a great time and it made me think of what I want for us, for the future."

_Future. _This is getting serious.

"What I really want to tell you," Kate continues, putting a strand hair behind her ear, "Is… uhm…" Nerves rise up again and she hides her face behind her hands.

"Hey," Castle reaches both of her wrists to uncover her face, "Kate, talk to me. We can solve whatever is on your mind together." He states quietly, moving his chair closer to her, so he is able to touch her without the table bothering.

Kate takes her time to look back at him again and then takes a deep breath before speaking. "Remember you once told me you would want to have more kids, someday?" He nods squeezing her hand, "I want a baby. I want to become a mother, someday."

_Oh, wow._

"You? Really?" Castle smiles widely.

Kate chuckles at his excitement and lets her head fall against his shoulder, "I'm not saying tomorrow or the next month, but I want us to, eventually, start a family."

Rick Castle is at a loss for words. He is a writer _for god's sake_, this is unacceptable, but yet again, Kate Beckett has managed to leave him speechless. She just told him that she wants to start a family with him and right now he might be the happiest guy on the planet.

No, he really is the happiest guy on the planet.

They stare at each other for what it feels like hours until Rick breaks the silence, "You want to start a family with me." He says marking every word. The sentence echoes inside his head because it just sounds so perfect. "Do you think we are ready?"

Kate doesn't even think about it, "I've never been more sure of something in my life, Castle. But… part of me is scared. What if I'm not good enough? What if I get shoot again and I don't make it? I don't want our baby or you to go through what me and my dad went through…"

Castle shakes his head taking both of Kate's hands in his, "That won't happen Kate. I'm going to make sure because I want to grow old and grey with you."

"Are you sure you'll be able to put up with me for the rest of your life, writer boy?" Kate teases with a cheeky smile on her face.

"Oh Kate, Kate. Of. That. I. Am. More. Than. Sure." He says between kisses.

* * *

After their emotional talk at the restaurant they rapidly walk back to The Empress, their hotel, to end up under the sheets with their bodies impossibly pressed together. It's two a.m. both of them are still lost in thoughts staring at the ceiling of _their _room. "I missed you, Kate."

"Me too. I was afraid we would never come back to how we were before." She says honestly, snuggling even closer to him.

"Every couple has its ups and downs, but love is always stronger."

"You are such a girl sometimes." Kate laughs wrapping her arms around his torso, "But I agree with you and I'm so sorry for how I acted, for the lies and everyt-"

"It's okay, we both made mistakes but we are here now, better than before."

"I love you." Kate says moving her head up so she can look him in the eyes, "So much."

"I love you too." Rick whispers before leaning down to kiss her one more time; they keep it sweet and short this time because they are both tired of the long day and just want to go to sleep. "You know, we will have the cutest baby. Your looks. My charm. Perfect combination."

Kate rolls her eyes at him and then drops a kiss on her stubbly jaw, "What if she or he has your looks and my charm?"

"Perfect as well."

* * *

_**So here it goooes! Hope you liked it, as always I would like to hear your opinion.**_

_**Thank you so much for all the new favourites, and as always huge thanks for reading. :)**_

_****Friendly reminder that they are not engaged****_


	16. Chapter 16 - Because you brought coffee

_**To my bomb buddy. Go rock the A-Levels Helen. You can do it! #Dale**_

* * *

"Can you just tell me where we are going?" Kate asks as she watches Castle dance around the room looking for his clothes.

"I don't want to ruin the surprise."

"But I don't like surprises. I don't like waiting." Kate groans lying back down on the comfy mattress. Castle takes time to put a white t-shirt on and then walks up to _their_ bed.

"Kate, come on..." He begs reaching for her hand, "I know it's early-"

"It's 5.30am, that's insanely early." Kate huffs turning her back to Castle.

"I know but I promise you will love the surprise. Just get out of bed, take a shower and get dressed, while I go get you coffee downstairs."

"Coffee?" Kate's eyes light up. Slowly, she turns her body to face him again with a huge smile on her face.

Rick bends down to capture Kate's lips in a sweet but solid kiss, "Be right back."

* * *

When Rick makes it back to their suit fifteen minutes later, he manages to balance both mugs in one hand to take the key card out of the jeans pocket, but the door swings open revealing Kate already dressed up.

"Wow, that was fast." Castle laughs handing her a white ceramic mug.

"Anything for coffee, you know that." Kate says walking backwards to reach for her purse.

"You're not taking your purse. We're not exactly staying on land so grab a jumper and put on that pair of trainers over there." Castle points out Kate's running shoes. One thing he has learnt after this fantastic year with her is that Kate Beckett loves to run; therefore her running shoes go with her everywhere.

"Can't you just tell me where we are going?" Kate asks again while putting her shoes on.

"Nope, it's a surprise. Now come on, they are waiting for us."

"They, wh-" Castle's index silences Kate before she's able to finish the sentence.

"Just enjoy it Kate." Rick states pressing the ground floor button. The elevators doors close before their eyes, only to open again fifteen seconds later.

* * *

Castle grabs Kate's hand as soon as they hit the street, his thumb drawing circles on it as they walk to the port.

"Good morning." A young good-looking boy greets them; opening a little wooden door that limits the reserved area from the commercial part of the port, "Follow me please."

Kate throws Rick a question look that makes him laugh; he presses his warm lips to her temple and circles her waist with his left arm.

The boy walks them to a big red Zodiac boat, where another man is already waiting for them. "You have to put these on." The man says handing each other a blue one-piece anorak, "Also, if I were you I would keep the jumper on. It's pretty chilly out there." He adds, pointing at the open sea.

"Castle, where the hell are you taking me?" Kate asks once again, with a challenging look. She just doesn't get why she had to wake up at half five in the morning and now has to put a one-piece anorak that will make her look like an astronaut.

The writer debates whether telling her now, or wait until they are far away from the coast. He finally decides to let it out because he doesn't want to deal with angry and impatient Beckett, "We are going whale watching."

Beckett's jaw hits the ground, "We're… wow, really?" She's widely smiling now, the kind of smile that screams_ I'm excited_.

"See! I told you it was worth waiting." Castle says helping her zip up the anorak.

"I've always wanted to go whale watching, but never had the opportunity to." Kate explains, still over the moon that she's actually going to cross number 27 on her bucket list, and she's going to do it with Castle.

"You look incredible." Castle jokes once Kate is all set up, covered in blue.

"This is surprisingly comfy." Kate says watching Castle put the anorak on, as she plays around pretending to be an astronaut. Once he is finished she steps closer to him and leans in for a soft peck on the lips. "Thanks."

Castle's gaze meets hers, "For what?"

"For this." Kate responds moving her hands between them and the Zodiac boat, "For not giving up on me. For _everything_ really."

"Always Kate," He smiles and winks at her "Now let's go see some big fat whales."

* * *

_**Hey guys!**_

_**I know this is really short, I'm sorry, but I've had such a busy week. I had the whole summer to go out with my friends and we ended up doing everything we had planned this past week. **_

_**That's the reason I haven't updated in a while, and I sincerely apologize because I don't like to keep you waiting. **_

_**Important! I write in British/Irish english, cos that's the one I learnt at school and boarding school. I know for Americans it's sounds a bit weird sometimes but hey blame my teachers! Lol **_

_**Last but not less important, I only have like 18 days to reach the 50k mark, I don't know if I will be able to reach it, but I will try :) I really hope to work it out, so I'm be able to participate in the Castle Ficathon Competition.**_

_**Thank you all for reading and taking your time to review, you are the best readers a write could as for ;)**_

_**-Anna **_


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